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10 BEST JOKES

funny joke

You can find here 10 funniest jokes from our database. Jokes are ordered by rating. Best jokes are first. Top 10 jokes. Best jokes for every day!

1.

teacher asked : Why are you late for school?
Johnny: Because of the Sign.
Teacher : What Sign?
Johnny : The sign that says "School ahead go slow"

500   
91joke rating: 5.49 (500/91)

2.

Q: Why was the math textbook so sad?
A: He had a lot of problems!

56   
12joke rating: 4.67 (56/12)

3.

Yo mama so dumb,when she got an "F" on her test, she thought it mean Fantastic!

307   
68joke rating: 4.51 (307/68)

4.

Billy and Joe were huge baseball fans.
One day, both Billy and Joe made a pact that if either of them were to die; they had to come back to the other in the form of a ghost to let the other know if baseball was played in heaven.
Sure enough, Billy dies and eventually comes to Joe one night in the form of a ghost.
A startled Joe realizes it is the ghost of his deceased friend and says "Billy, it is so good to see you...so tell me, is there baseball in Heaven?".
"Well", Billy says, "I have some good news and bad news for ya.
First the good news...YES, there is baseball in heaven!".
"Thank God!" Joe shouts...
"What is the bad news?!".
"You're pitching tomorrow."

252   
57joke rating: 4.42 (252/57)

5.

Doctor! I have a serious problem, I can never remember what i just said.
When did you first notice this problem?
What problem?

34   
8joke rating: 4.25 (34/8)

6.

A precious little girl walks into a Pets Mart Shop and asks, in the sweetest little lisp, between two missing teeth, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"
As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft and fuwwy, bwack wabbit, or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?"
She, in turn, blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says, in a tiny quiet voice,
"I don't think my python weally gives a thit !!"

8   
2joke rating: 4 (8/2)

7.

Husband: everytime I hit you, you never fight back. how do you manage your anger?
Wife: I clean the toilet seat.............
Husband: How does it help?
Wife: I use your toothbrush!!!!

73   
19joke rating: 3.84 (73/19)

8.

A guy takes his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time.
After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game.
Oh, I really liked it, she said, but I just couldn't understand though why they were beating each other up for 25 cents.
Suprised, the boyfriend asked, what do you mean?
The blonde girlfriend replied, all they kept screaming was: "Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!"

57   
15joke rating: 3.8 (57/15)

9.

A cop pulls a guy over:

- Sir, why were you speeding?
- Officer, I wanted to get home quickly, before I became really drunk.

75   
20joke rating: 3.75 (75/20)

10.

A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling.
"If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull."
The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with,
"If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant."
The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid,
"What if your dad was gay and your mom was a prostitute?!"
Then kid smiles and says, "I would be a bus driver!"

15   
4joke rating: 3.75 (15/4)

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