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10 BEST JOKES

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You can find here 10 funniest jokes from our database. Jokes are ordered by rating. Best jokes are first. Top 10 jokes. Best jokes for every day!

1.

teacher asked : Why are you late for school?
Johnny: Because of the Sign.
Teacher : What Sign?
Johnny : The sign that says "School ahead go slow"

476   
78joke rating: 6.1 (476/78)

2.

Yo mama so dumb,when she got an "F" on her test, she thought it mean Fantastic!

298   
64joke rating: 4.66 (298/64)

3.

Billy and Joe were huge baseball fans.
One day, both Billy and Joe made a pact that if either of them were to die; they had to come back to the other in the form of a ghost to let the other know if baseball was played in heaven.
Sure enough, Billy dies and eventually comes to Joe one night in the form of a ghost.
A startled Joe realizes it is the ghost of his deceased friend and says "Billy, it is so good to see you...so tell me, is there baseball in Heaven?".
"Well", Billy says, "I have some good news and bad news for ya.
First the good news...YES, there is baseball in heaven!".
"Thank God!" Joe shouts...
"What is the bad news?!".
"You're pitching tomorrow."

246   
53joke rating: 4.64 (246/53)

4.

Husband: everytime I hit you, you never fight back. how do you manage your anger?
Wife: I clean the toilet seat.............
Husband: How does it help?
Wife: I use your toothbrush!!!!

61   
14joke rating: 4.36 (61/14)

5.

Q: Why was the math textbook so sad?
A: He had a lot of problems!

47   
11joke rating: 4.27 (47/11)

6.

A woman and baby are in the doctors surgery, the doc is concerned about the baby's weight.
"Is he bottle fed or breast fed ?"
The woman replies, "Breast fed."
The doc gets her to strip down to her waist so he can examine her breasts. He pinches her nipples and sucks and rubs both breasts for a while ... "No wonder the baby is underweight, you have no milk."
Woman replies, "I know, I'm his granny ... but I'm glad I came!"

34   
8joke rating: 4.25 (34/8)

7.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" exclaims Watson.
"And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson ponders for a minute."Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"
And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."

8   
2joke rating: 4 (8/2)

8.

Yo mama is so stupid she took a spoon to the Superbowl.

194   
49joke rating: 3.96 (194/49)

9.

A guy takes his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time.
After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game.
Oh, I really liked it, she said, but I just couldn't understand though why they were beating each other up for 25 cents.
Suprised, the boyfriend asked, what do you mean?
The blonde girlfriend replied, all they kept screaming was: "Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!"

49   
13joke rating: 3.77 (49/13)

10.

Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter?
A: Because it's too far to walk!

45   
12joke rating: 3.75 (45/12)

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