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A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. Generally, he was driving his partner nuts.
Finally his exasperated partner says, "What the heck is taking so long? Hit the ball!"
The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot."
His partner ponders this for a moment, and then replies:
"Forget it man, you don`t stand a snowball`s chance in hell of hitting her from here!"

6joke rating: 0.67 (4/6)


What's the difference between a bachelor & a married man?
Bachelor comes home, see's what's in the fridge & goes to bed.
Married man comes home, see's what's in the bed & goes to the fridge.

6joke rating: 0.67 (4/6)


A woman went shopping. She walks to checkout counter and then the salesman packs all her groceries: milk, cheese, orange juice, half of bread, bar of soap, toothpaste...
All of a sudden the salesman asks her:
- You're single, aren't you?
A bit surprised woman smiles and answers:
- That's right, but how did you guessed that?
- Because you're so ugly.

14joke rating: 0.64 (9/14)


Could you imagine if God turns out to be a woman?
Not only am I going to hell, but I will never know why.

11joke rating: 0.64 (7/11)


Its my birthday today.
My wife has said that shes going to make it my most special birthday ever ...
I wonder where shes going?

11joke rating: 0.64 (7/11)


Fred is 32 years old and he is still single.
One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?"
Fred replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them."
His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a blonde who's just like your mother."
A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect blonde? Did your mother like her?"
With a frown on his face, Fred answers, "Yes, I found the perfect blonde. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much."
The friend said, "Then what's the problem?"
Fred replied, "My father doesn't like her."

8joke rating: 0.63 (5/8)


The wife told me to talk to her like she was special the other day.
So I said, "Gooooo ... annddd ... makkee ... meeee ... a ... cuuuppp ... offffff ... coofffeeeeeee ..."

13joke rating: 0.54 (7/13)


Man goes to the doctors and says, "Doctor, I cant stop my hands from shaking!"
Doctor replies, "Do you drink much?"
Man says, "No, I spill most of it!"

10joke rating: 0.5 (5/10)


Police have found the body of a man in the Thames wearing a Chelsea shirt, women underwear, fishnet stockings, suspenders and with an extra large dildo stuck up his arse.
They have removed the Chelsea shirt to save the family any embarrassment ...

9joke rating: 0.44 (4/9)


Husband came home from the pub at 3'o clock this morning. Wife was waiting at the door with a rolling pin.
I said to her, "What are you doing 'baking' at this time of the night?"

12joke rating: 0.33 (4/12)

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