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Q: Why did the Skeleton go to the movies by himself?
A: He had no body to go with him.
Q: If my main parachute doesn't open and my reserve parachute doesn't open, how long till i hit the ground?
A: The rest of your life...
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.2 1
A woman wants everything from one man.
A man wants one thing from all women.
An ideal man doesn't drink, doesn't snore, doesn't watch football, doesn't argue and DOESN'T EXIST.2 1
Q. What's the difference between an aerobics instructor and a well mannered professional torturer?
A. The torturer would apologize first.
Q: Why is it hard to play the card game "Uno" with a group of Mexicans?
A: Because they all take the green cards.
Q: Why do women have smaller feet then men?
A: So that they can stand closer to the kitchen sink!
Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter?
A: Because it's too far to walk!
I like my women the same as I like my whiskey ...
20 years old and mixed up with coke!
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