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A cop stopped a drunk at about dawn.
The cop asked, "Can you explain why you're out at this hour?"
"If I could," the drunk said, "I'd be home by now!"
One sunny day on the North Sea a creative little boy was playing in the sand trying to decide what to make. He discovered some Scheiss (you can guess what that is) on the beach so he decided to make a VoPo (People's Policeman).
Just as he was finishing, along comes a VoPo, trying to make sure no one swims to Denmark. He decides to ask the little boy what that ugly thing made of Scheiss is.
The little boy responds: "It's a VoPo!" So the officer beats him.
The next day, the boy is on the beach making the same creation when that same officer comes along and sees the boy is playing with the Scheiss again, and asks what he is doing.
The boy responds "I'm making another VoPo!" So the officer beats him.
The day after that, the officer is strolling the beach, sees the boy playing just with sand, and is glad to see he has switched his medium.
So he asks boldly "what are you making today?" The boy responds: "A G.I.!"
The officer asks: "And why not a VoPo?" The boy responds: "Couldn't find any Scheiss."
A cop pulls a guy over:
- Sir, why were you speeding?
- Officer, I wanted to get home quickly, before I became really drunk.
Truck driver is stuck under bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
Three highly decorated police officers die in a wild shoot out with narcotics dealers and go to heaven.
God greets them and asks, "When you are laid out in your casket, and your fellow officers and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say about you?
The first cop says, "I would like to hear them say, that I was the bravest cop on the force."
The second police officer says, "I would like to hear that I was a terrific cop who died in the line of duty."
The last cop replies, "I would like to hear them say ... Look, He's Moving!"
A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar.
A $40 speeding ticket was included.
Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40.
Cop on horse says to little girl on bike, "Did Santa get you that?"
"Yes," replies the little girl.
"Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!" and fines her $5.
The little girl looks up at the cop and says, "Nice horse you've got there, did Santa bring you that?"
The cop chuckles and replies. "He sure did!"
"Well," says the little girl, "Next year tell Santa that the d*ck goes under the horse, not on top of it!"
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